Monday, January 30, 2012

all I needed.

all I needed was the following picture my dad just e-mailed me:

 if you haven't heard:

my dad retired from the air force in november, so he's currently job hunting.
knowing he would probably have to go to wherever his new job is and leave my mom and younger brother a little while to finish the school year and sell the house, he thought it was best that we sell our dogs. it would be difficult to travel with them if my dad got a job really far away, and this way my mom wouldn't have to work so hard to keep the house clean all the time with all the dog hair and what not. it was just the best decision for our family, although a super hard one.

so on friday morning my dad brought the dogs to the humane shelter.

but the next day... my brother and sister-in-law went to go visit them, and they said it was just the saddest thing. daisy and elvis were both so scared, and daisy was shaking so much and acting crazy.
the people at the shelter told my brother and sister-in-law that they almost labeled daisy as feral because she was having such a hard time calming down.
 feral = they might have to put her to sleep.


I had been okay with the humane shelter thing all along until I heard this.
unfortunately I heard it in the middle of the byu basketball game where I became a quiet loser who was trying to hold back tears (sorry bronwyn and brian..).
so when I got home,
I got on facebook, 
begged and pleaded for someone to adopt them,
sobbed and sobbed and sooobbbbed,
and the next morning, just over 12 hours later, my friend winston told me he could take them. 
both of them.

I. was. so. grateful.

today my dad went back to the humane shelter (who graciously waived the adoption fees), picked up daisy and elvis, and brought them to their new home in millbrook with the jordan family.

the above picture is winston with some of his sisters, and my mom standing behind them.

this picture makes me so happy for a few reasons:

1. daisy is sitting comfortably next to winston. she just looks happy and I'm so glad to have that mental image of her terrified and shaking out of my head!
2. elvis is standing on winston's leg... this is HUGE!!! he's usually so scared of strangers. also it's comforting that he's not scrambling to be in the arms of my mom, where he usually goes when he's scared.
3. my mom is smiling. I know it was hard for her to leave elvis, he was TOTALLY her baby, but she's still so happy that things worked out and they went to a good home.
4. there is room for them to roam and play!
5. everyone generally looks happy. even my babies. <3

this whole ordeal might not seem like a big deal to anyone but it was such an emotional 4-day journey for me (granted it was that time of the month... ha..) but I was so concerned about my dogs finding a good home. and I'm just so grateful for how everything turned out. not only did they go to a family, but to a family I KNOW! like, who would have thought that would mean so much??

it's times like these when I feel the love of my Heavenly Father. He cares so. much. about us. and He cares about the little things that we care about!! He answers prayers. He has our backs. He loves us more than we know. I'm so so so grateful. I'm going to miss my dogs so much, but I'm so glad that they're with a great family, and that they're really "only a phone call away." :)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

7:30 AM wake up call

it is currently 7:49, and I just walked back into my apartment.

at 7:30, my alarm went off, and sadie simultaneously shouted from her bed, "OH MY GOSH! IT'S 7:30!!!!!!!!"

yep. you know that sentence. she was late for work. she had to be there at 7:45.

good thing the best motivator in the known universe for getting ready quick is being late for work!

sadie got ready, and then I drove her to her job in the wilk, dropped her off at 7:43, and walked back in my door at 7:49.

we are ninjas.

we even both got dressed and put make-up on!

.....okay, only she did. I totes stayed in my pajamas and am glad no one I knew saw my face. :)


but seriously.. sadie looked freakishly normally good for waking up and being AT work in 13 minutes.

plus she gets props for making me get out of bed and not having an excuse to press snooze. haha.

well... time for cereal. <3

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

a sick kind of beauty

there is a sick beauty... in staying on campus between your 11 AM class and your 5:30 PM class to finish an assignment.

sick, because you seriously just spent 5 hours writing an article summary that was only 1.5 pages single spaced.

beautiful, because you're done.
and you got it done at school.
so when you go home you will have left it behind you... the memory of you accomplishing it is at school! distant and far from the sweet haven of home.

(I'm seriously so drained I had to stop for 20 seconds to remember the word "haven." and 10 minutes ago I couldn't remember the word "suggests"....)

time for my 5:30 class. :)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

God bless the man...

...who created this tutorial:

okay so you probably don't want to watch it but let me give you the run down:

ever since I moved away from home and got my own laptop, I haven't been able to transfer my ipod music to my itunes. like, I could on my home computer, but not my laptop.

this was the most frustrating thing in the UNIVERRRSSSEEEE!

my music has always been really important to me, and not being able to have it right there on my computer was so frustrating. sure, I can listen to it on my ipod.. but like, who doesn't want their music on their computer?! just think about how many times you open your itunes... yeah, me? NEVER. because no music existed in it! plus it meant I could never transfer new music to my ipod without deleting all of the existing music on there.

which was NOT. happenin'.

so therefore.. the past 3 years have been spent with the same music on my ipod. and me not listening to it, because I am hardly ever in a situation when I just want to listen to my ipod (I really don't like blocking out the world completely... I want to be able to hear if someone calls my name or something... and blasting music through headphones kinda hinders that). so eventually my ipod was used strictly for flights home and back and nothing else.

but now... NOW!! :)

my music is on my computer.

which means I can purchase more music and sync to my ipod without fear of erasing everything,

AND I can finally use itunes on my iphone!!

and I can like... get ready in the morning and blast music from my computer!!!

or play my music when I'm editing photos!!
or just blog stalking!!

or just whatever!!!

I am so relieved and stoked and grateful.

thank you, my generation, for being awesome and providing video tutorials for everything.
a 3-year problem solved in 6 minutes. for reals?


p.s. sundays rock. God is good.

Monday, January 16, 2012

new bedding!

that deserves an exclamation mark, because I've had the same bedding and sheets since freshman year.

I know that doesn't seem that weird, but I NEVER wash my sheets (I know... I didn't realize I was gross until that night we dragged our mattresses into the living room and I saw from above what my sheets looked like....scary....) so this is indeed a big deal.

YAY for cute new bedding from target that will smell clean and happy and that will arrive hopefully this weekend. :)

Saturday, January 14, 2012



who gets paid to design these things??

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

even when I feel like ultimate crapola,

 I am so blessed with loving family and friends.

I'm mainly writing these down so I don't forget about them:

my dad spent about an hour on the phone with me friday morning as we tediously tried to fix my laptop's cd/dvd drive. we've been in this situation so many times (over the phone trying to fix my laptop) and he's always so patient and is on his computer while I'm on mine, guiding me step by step as we try to fix it and keeping me calm so I don't sob out of frustration.

unfortunately none of our efforts worked.
I was really upset because I was supposed to give my friend and old roomie amanda her wedding pictures that night at dinner with her husband nick and brother brian, but my laptop wouldn't read any blank DVDs.

well that night, nick was a saint, and spent probably an hour trying to fix my laptop while amanda and I just chatted.
I felt like he was my dad. he just was so selfless and caring, it meant SO MUCH to me, even though in the end he couldn't fix it either.

this meant I would need to take my laptop into the shop, which was seriously stressing me out because I needed it to edit the many pictures I'm trying to finish and also to be able to change my schedule as many times as I need to before the add/drop deadline.

well, the next day my dad e-mailed me the receipt for a new external DVD writer he had just ordered for me. and told me to check for it in my office the next week.

and I died. because he never stops until it's taken care of, and therefore I'm taken care of.

sadie gets credit just for listening to me vent every second of the last week. and putting up with my depressing antisocial tendencies the last week. and making the effort to cheer me up the last week. and giving me good advice. and being so patient with my imperfections. and being an amazing friend always.

bronwyn loved me and hugged me the last week. enough said.

amanda and nick, even after having to receive their wedding pictures late and spending their friday evening trying to fix my laptop, got me a gift card to a cute clothing website for being their wedding photographer. even after they already paid me for doing their wedding.

I found out I had no money to pay for this semester, and started panicking. my dad calmed me down and said we'd take it a couple weeks at a time. the next day, my dad texted me and told me I had funds to live until september. WHAT?! where did that come from?! he said, "refunds from various sources." I said, "a refund on a yacht?!" (well.. maybe a pebble-sized yacht.)

and I died. because he never stops until it's taken care of, and therefore I'm taken care of.

today I came home from a long day at school, and was praying and praying for further guidance.
it's funny to me how my classes this semester are stressing me out so much... I think I'm developing anxiety later in life or something..

anyway, I walked into my room and on my bed was a letter addressed to me.
it was from my aunt amy, who reads my blog and knew what was going on.
there was a card telling me that I've got this.
there was a gift card telling me I can afford food (bless her soul).
and there was a printed out story from elder holland telling me to have faith.

and I cried.
because no one stops until it's taken care of,
and therefore I'm taken care of.

my schedule still isn't set in stone,
I'm still feeling anxious about... everything at the moment.
I'm still wondering why I'm bothered so much by all of this.

but I know that no matter what happens, I have so many people who genuinely care about me, and that I am not alone. and for that I am so flippity-flippin' grateful.

 yes, flippity-flippin'.



took the time to wake up early and read my scriptures this morning, since I'm feeling in need of some guidance.
love it when I open up to verses like that.

have a positive attitude,
believe in yourself,


Tuesday, January 10, 2012


deciding classes is hard.

the end.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

how to eat chocolate.

I kid you not, these "tasting steps" came with a bar of chocolate I got for my birthday.

they have to be shared with the world.

and I quote:


Chocolate is best tasted when your taste buds are clean. (But everything tastes bad after I brush my teeth!) If you need to clean your palate, a palate cleanser such as sparkling water, an apple slice, or soda cracker will help clean your mouth and taste buds. (Hey honey, can you bring me an apple slice? No... just one slice! I need to eat this piece of chocolate!)

First examine the chocolate. (High school biology class anyone?) The surface should be free from defects. It should be shiny in appearance. (Oooh.. shiny.)

Listen. (Please know how hard I am laughing at this sentence.) When you break it, it should make a sharp snap sound. (Sharp and snappy. Got it.) Let the chocolate warm between your fingers slightly. (But I hate when that happens!)

Smell it. Is the aroma fruity? (Fruity... chocolate?) Spicy? "Roasty" like coffee? What pleasurable sensations does it remind you of? (Uhhh... getting a massage?)

Place a piece of chocolate in your mouth and let it melt. Don't chew! (Well my life is a failure.) The flavor of chocolate changes as you eat it. (I thought I tasted meatloaf once!) What flavors do you initially taste? How do they change with time? How long can you taste the chocolate afterward? What is its' final favor? (Yes, both of those typos were in the original sentence.)

If you are trying many kinds of chocolates, use a palate cleanser to clean your mouth and taste buds in between chocolate tastings. Get some friends together and hold a chocolate-tasting party!

Happy Chocolate Tastings,

*illegible signature*
Founder/Head Chocolate Maker
Amano Artisan Chocolate


and that, my friends,
is entertainment.

(and apparently how to eat chocolate.)


hope this hilarity cheers you up before the week ahead. I know I'm in need of some cheer.. it's going to be a busy week. good luck everyone!


Friday, January 6, 2012

it's just death, nbd.


I don't even...

I just.

it was nice knowing you all.

. . . . . . .

SFL 331
Infant Development in the Family

8-12 page research paper
lots of reading
questions on readings (AKA have to do the readings)
group project (-_-)
2 exams (with essays)

IHUM 202
Interdisciplinary Humanities 202

3 exams (not multiple choice. you memorize hundreds of terms and spew out about 100 of them.)
2 papers (3-5 pages)
so much reading. not the skip-able kind.
final project/presentation (-_-)

SFL 351
Socialization Across Childhood

so much reading (quizzed on it. can't skip.)
3 exams.
2 page research paper (but intense. and really really well-written. and at least 10 sources.)
3-5 page lay audience paper (our research paper but written like an article for a magazine or newspaper)

SFL 371
Family Work & Relationships in the Home

so much reading (quizzed on it)
2 exams
2 formal essay papers, each 4-5 pages long

SFL 335
Family Adaptation and Resiliency

10 page research paper + 5 pages of preparation papers
7 page movie reflection paper
2 exams (first exam has 2 essays, final exam has 6...)
reading. reading. reading.

. . . . . . .

this semester I'm writing at LEAST 49 pages.
and this isn't fluff writing.
this is critical research writing.
meaning hours of searching through online databases and reading dozens of articles to find supporting statements for my thesis,
and then writing the paper.

and every second not spend writing will be spent reading. that is guaranteed.

when you add my church calling onto that,

plus my need to earn money doing photoshoots to possibly financially get through this semester...

well, truly, it was nice knowing you.


I have faith that it'll be okay.
because goodness knows I will be talking to Heavenly Father 24/7 this semester.

it's kind of freaky how much that relationship can help you get through anything.

and hey, at least I'll be so busy I won't have time to eat and then I'll lose some weight right?

kidding. :)

I apologize in advance for horribly whiny and depressing posts that are forthcoming this semester.

honestly I cannot see how I'm going to do it yet.
like, I love a challenge and I truly love hard work,
but this might even be too much for me.. I might seriously have to change my schedule.. although at this point I don't know how that's going to work.

prayers are appreciated.

(like really really really really really appreciated.)

I guess all there's left to say is...

goodbye life.

it was sweet while it lasted.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I miss my brothers.

abnormally large amounts.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Be Magical.

that is my motto for this semester.

I shall explain later...

time to get ready for my flight back to provo!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

a case of the cries.

a few weeks ago my nephew ethan was sitting on his grandpa's lap when his mom and lee were out of town and he said, "I just have the cries and don't know why, and I can't stop!"

I feel like that tonight. :(

stupid womanhood.

friday was my brother's temple sealing and yesterday was his ring ceremony and reception.
it was so great and really fun and we danced from 7 to midnight!
I literally danced the entire time haha. my calves are KILLING me today. I love it.

we didn't finish cleaning up after the wedding until 2:30, so bed around 3.
I slept in this morning and missed the first 2 hours of church.
(my mom and grandpa were the only 2 people out of 9 people who should have gone.. haha.)

well I HATE missing church.
I need it, especially when it's a week of transition like this one.
so I got ready super fast and made it to the last hour (relief society).
it was worth it. 
just being in that atmosphere, and I got to say bye to my ward family which was nice.
my mom went straight to bed when she got home and is still asleep.... that's a 5+ hour nap people haha.

anyway, I came home and napped too. and like normal I felt weird when I woke up (I HATE post-nap feeling), but it hasn't left yet. boo. :(

I started watching chronicles of narnia with my nephews and it was even making me sad because it was getting to the part where aslan is sacrificed.
makes me sad, even though it's a good thing because it represents Christ's sacrifice, and aslan comes back to life like 2 seconds later and it's all happy.

anyway it was making me sad.
so I came upstairs and hoped the background noise of the hallmark movie my grandpa is watching would cheer me up.

I go back to provo on tuesday and I'm afraid it'll be bummy.
the start of a new year does excite me, but I just hate winter haha. I want it to be over already.

and it's just a time of transition all over in my family.
my dad is job hunting literally everywhere, so I have no idea where I'll spend christmas next year.

it makes me sad that my fiance will probably never know my alabama home. :(

and just random sadness.

this year I want to work on not caring so much about what people think.
taking more chances.
having more fun.
not saying sorry so often,
but saying sorry more.
being mySELF.
putting EFFORT into making others happy. I used to be better at that than I am now.
remembering good stuff requires work.
relying more on Heavenly Father and putting forth more effort into that relationship.
opening up.
being vulnerable.
not losing hope. <3

anyway, this mood is extremely familiar to me. the weird uncomfortable random I-want-to-sob mood that will (normally) be gone in the morning.
and that normally causes me to ramble on my blog. ;)

ahh. maybe I will take a shower now. cry the random sadness out and feel better.

hope you're having a lovely sabbath. <3 
happy 2012. :)
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