Things Are Looking Up

I've been feeling better since my last post and thank you for your thoughts and prayers. :) I think it's just a matter of getting used to such completely new surroundings and everything. But my roommates are awesome and are making me feel more at home... I wake up to the three of them being ridiculous and laughing every morning (somehow I always sleep longer than them.... that's weird..... ;)). But we have such a good time, I really am so pleased with who I was put with! They make me laugh and some days that's just all I need. Love it. Love them.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Jerusalem is so cool.

Today was a happy day. Because we finally took that dang QUIZ (yes, not even worth the stress) that we've been freakishly studying for since three weeks before even COMING HERE! AHHH!!! All those hours of studying for only 30 multiple choice questions. sdfjlsjfsijfskdfjsd. But IT IS FINISHED. And right after it practically all of us ran away to the city!!! It was my first time going out without it being a field trip... and it was awesome!! I seriously love the Old City so much. It's just so COOL. And I want to buy everything haha. Today I only brought $20, but I spent most of it on food (we didn't really realize til the bill came that we ate somewhere kind of expensive haha) and a beautiful little turqoise ring! Sadie, I keep seeing things that I immediately want to buy and then realize that you own some of them haha. Basically just little things like earrings and key chains. It's funny and so "of course." :)

It's sooo funny walking through the Old City and hearing the shop keepers yell, "Are you the Mormons?!" "Mormons!!" "Mormons... for you everything is half price!" Hahaha. It's just so funny.. I don't know why! And even random passers by will just yell "Hey Mormons!" and we're all like "Hey!!!!" It's great. Especially because in order to get the permission to build the Jerusalem Center, we had to agree to never proselyte or speak about our religion at all. So we actually can't talk about it ever... like if someone asks us something, we have to tell them that we're not allowed to talk about our religion. The only thing we're allowed to say is that we are Christian. It's crazy though because I feel like I'm sharing the gospel just by walking around! Haha. Kind of hard to explain, but this is exactly where that "But what are you going to do about the light in their eyes?" story comes from that a lot of us have heard (click here to read it... 3rd paragraph down). I've heard that story tons of times before but forgot until coming here that it was about the Jerusalem Center students!!! And now I just totally get it and love it even more because it's so true. We don't formally proselyte AT ALL but totally and completely are doing it all the time anyway just through our countenances. CRAZY AWESOMENESS.

On Monday we went on a field trip where we visited 5 different high points that overlook Jerusalem from all different sides, plus a couple of other places. One of those places was BETHLEHEM. Yeah, I just sat on top of a hill overlooking Bethlehem for half an hour, writing in my journal and pondering the awesomeness of what was in front of me. You could say it was pretty cool. :))

I love that this is going to change my life just because it's going to change the way I read the Bible FOREVER. I will have mental images of these places now... because I've BEEN TO THEM! BAHHH!! It's just so cool and crazy and awesome. And I keep remembering how lucky I am because sooooooo many people don't get this opportunity. And it's just awesome.

I promise so many pictures are coming... so many!! Some of my friends have been able to upload some here at the center... perhaps I will try. But I want to upload like a bajillion so I'll have to wait til I have time to go to Hebrew U to do the bulk of it.

Danny, I love my watch so much. I wear it every single day and love its beautiousness so much and just smile when I look at it and remember that you picked it out all by yourself. ;) LOVE YOU!!!

Mom... I'm starting to wonder if you died. Please e-mail me or comment on this!! Actually, I need you to comment so I can make sure it works. I changed the settings so it's easier. Do not be afraid. Move forward with faith.... and comment. :)

I normally don't beg for comments... but if you know me well enough to look forward to my posts, please leave a little note from time to time... because hearing from you makes my life!!! I feel like a missionary begging for letters haha.

Shallow regret #217: Not getting highlights before I left. I'm already cringing at my roots in every single picture. I'm considering looking for a box of hair color in West Jerusalem (the Jewish/more modern side of town), but am anticipating the directions being in a different language. Or the colors only coming in shades of brown. Haha.

Every time I write the date on my papers, I'm so thrown off. It feels like March here! I ain't complainin'. ;)

I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift's Red is going to be the soundtrack of my Jerusalem experience. I normally can't study with music but have trained myself to be able to study to "State of Grace" here.

Well, I think that is all for now. I love you guys!! Hope you're all having a great semester. You are in my prayers... which I think can be heard even better from here. ;)

Jerusalem Friends!

I've added a gadget on the left sidebar that lets you see the blogs of my friends studying abroad with me. :) That way you can see more pictures if you want and maybe get better updates (ha!). I only have one now of my thuper duper awesome roommate Anne (I Stand All Amazed), but I will add more as I find them!

 

MUCH LOVE!

 

I would rant about how we finally did the orientation walk today (which we were supposed to do the day we got here it but it snowed) and how my favorite part was walking through the Old City and how it was insanely awesome and SO COOL and I was going crazy thinking of all the things I wanted to buy for my family and how I just loved it so much and all I could think about was you, Sadie :), but... I really, really, REALLY need to study. Really badly.

 

Like so badly.

 

So I'm going..

 

Here I go...............

 

ehhh....

J-Rae in Jeru

I promised Bronwyn I would make that the title of my first post. I'm pretty sure I love it more than I can stand. :)

Today I went to the Garden Tomb.

:)

It was great because it was the first time we've left the center since getting here. They're still working on our security card things that allow us to leave, so we haven't been able to explore the gorgeous city that we stare at all day yet.

But today after church (Saturday is the Sabbath here - love it!), we all walked about 25 minutes to the Garden Tomb. And that's when I started to truly fall in love with this experience. Walking through the bustling streets of a foreign city is definitely one of the coolest things I have ever done. I seriously was like, "This is so cool!!" every 2 seconds (while keeping a tight grip on my purse, haha!). Everyone talks about the smells of Jerusalem, and they are so right!! I love the smells of all the spices. They're stuck on my clothes and I don't even care, haha.

I can tell it's going to be a little hard for me to blog while I'm here, because 1) I'm not supposed to upload pictures here at the Center... takes too long or something... so I have to go to Hebrew University (10 minutes away) to do that, and 2) Well, it's kind of hard to put number 2 into words, haha. Usually when I blog it's so light and airy and funny, but this experience is crazy and awesome and deep! And very personal. So it's difficult for some reason to provide the summaries that I know people want (especially because that would just feel like a repeat of my journaling that takes so long to do). My main goal while I'm here is to soak in every moment and figure out why I'm here. I tend to think a lot of things are due to chance... but I just can't believe that my being in the Holy Land is due to chance. How could it be??? I'm where Jesus lived!!!

Can I admit something? I didn't blog the first few days I was here because, truthfully, I was really sad. And I still don't know why. Maybe jet lag, maybe the transition to a new country, maybe woman problems (hey... they're real!!),  maybe getting used to a bunch of new people. But it was something I couldn't shake and it was really bothering me. Don't get me wrong - flying here and traveling with our huge group was SO fun and exciting and I loved every second of it. I loved seeing Israel from the airplane window, and feeling the plane touch down on this foreign soil, and smiling to myself because I did it!!! I made it here. I thought of Sadie's note (which I'll have to share/explain later) where she convinced me to apply to the program last minute and she said that the best case scenario would be that I'd find myself in Jerusalem in January - "Such a good story!!" Yes. Such a good story. :) :) :) I loved driving from the airport to the Jerusalem Center, up, up, up the hills, ears popping all the way. I loved touring the JC and getting so excited about all the amazing places we are going to visit. I loved the crazy random intense snowfall that we got the first night here (first time here in 10 years!) and imagining how exciting that was for all of the locals. But for some reason I was unexplainably sad the last couple of days, so that's why I didn't write. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't having the most magically perfect time ever... but I've come to accept that this is going to be a growing experience and that it's okay to be unexplainably sad sometimes. (I hate being unexplainably sad. Can you say annoying??)

Today cheered me up though - I think I just needed to get out. And church always lifts my spirits. I wonder if maybe I needed to be humbled at the beginning of this, to be reminded that I'm extremely lucky to be here and that I need to be focused on the right things. Maybe?? I don't know. Making sense of emotions is really hard. Haha. But today was happy, and I'm grateful. :) Also, I feel awkward asking this, but if you wanted to say a little prayer for me, I'd be super grateful. My biggest fear is that my amazing experiences will somehow be tainted by the random sad grey film that sometimes comes over my mind. Seriously, sorry if this is awkward for anyone, but my resolutions for 2013 are to 1) Face the future with faith, and 2) Be more vulnerable. So this is me, being more vulnerable and asking for a little help. Thanks. :)

I'm SO. EXCITED. for all of the amazing places I get to go this semester!! I wrote in my journal that I'm already sad about how soon we have to go home, haha. I know I'm going to miss this so much. I've heard so many people say that this experience changed their lives. Even after being here for a day or two, I still wasn't convinced that this experience would change my life, but today I'm starting to believe whole-heartedly that it will. (And that I'm going to HATE going home. Haha. /:)

The food is amazing. There are always new and delicious meals in the Oasis (cafeteria), including cool local foods, but the pita bread and incredible chocolately spread that I smother on it are available every day and might be the best thing of my life. And because we only eat three times a day, I've seriously already dropped 5 pounds haha. The beauty of not snacking, and eating HEALTHY foods. I ain't complainin'!! ;)

School is NOT a cakewalk here!! But it's fun studying with everyone. And we get to go on a field trip every week, so that's cool I guess. ;)

I'm loving it here. Unexplainable sad days and all. I know I'm SO lucky to be here and I'm so eager to soak in every moment and not let anything pass by without me LOVING IT. My roommates are great (we had our first bonding night last night over bad date stories... classic), my teachers are great (and their children!!), and all of the faculty here and their wives are so great. Everyone in the group is so friendly and when we were on the plane ride over, I was seriously shocked that I had only known these people for a few hours. I'm so excited to see how deep our friendships become, and I'm really glad that everyone here is genuine and including so far. Also, I'M OLD! Hahaha there are so many 19 year old girls here! When did I get to be 22?? My roommates are 19, 19, and 20. And basically I'm old. The end.

I love you all and hope you're having a great semester so far. Thanks for being patient with me and for sending me love and encouragement. :) I can't wait to blog with pictures!!! You will die. ;)

Until next time! (Hopefully really soon! Hurry up security cards!!)

Love love loooove,

Jennie



24 HOURS FROM NOW

I WILL BE ON A PLANE TO JERUSALEM.

jsdf;jsouirskjdfhsaouerhf;jksgkshdfkjshdkfjh!!!!!

My orientation is in a couple of hours.

It is 4 hours long.

My aunt Amy and soulmate Sadie (who went to Jerusalem and is the reason I'm going) are coming with me. To help me not faint, of course.

FREAKIN OUT FREAKIN OUT FREAKIN OUT!

...

STILL FREAKIN OUT!

Wish me luck!!!!!!!

It's so weird that I have literally NO idea what my next blog post will be like...

well, unless I blog again tonight, of course. ;)

But yeah, I won't be getting on Facebook there at all probably, but I'll keep blogging here! Hopefully often. With pictures. :)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay... must go... do something productive.... ah!

Pondering in the Periodicals

I'm sitting in the periodicals right now (a certain section of the BYU library) where I've studied a bajillion times before. And I'm realizing that this is one of the last times I'll ever study in here... Maybe even the last. It's crazy! /: And I just wanted to write down and remember that I love it here, and that there really is such a special spirit here at BYU. In this huge room of hundreds of students are so many amazing people. Sometimes it's truly overwhelming being surrounded by SO MANY amazing people, but sometimes it's the best feeling in the world. If anything has ever been a testament to me of the truthfulness of my faith, it's the amazing, well-rounded, Christ like people it produces. Seriously, that's what it always comes down to for me. You just can't fake something like that. I'll miss you BYU. ♥

What it all comes down to.

Okay. This has got to be quick because I'm supposed to be writing 2 essays that are due in 3 hours... bah!

But just now, as I was checking my e-mail, I was reminded of something. I was cleaning out my spam folder when I came across three different but very similar e-mails that I'm sure you've all received. The person begins by introducing him or herself and his or her family, then delves into this financial plight they are in, and then finally asks if you will send your personal information and money to help them out. First of all, HA!!! Seriously? Who on earth falls for this? Okay, second. I can't help but KNOW that the root of all good or evil is in the family. This person writing these deceitful lies probably had uninvolved or authoritarian parents. There was probably a serious issue with distance regulation. Way too much or too little enmeshment. Had positive family rituals been present, any tendency to lie would have been detected early, or more likely avoided altogether. Any inevitable difficulties during the teen years could have been handled by parent and child working together in a relationship of trust and understanding. Sure, teen angst will always exist, and I'm the poster-child of it, but teen angst is way less likely to lead to crime or misconduct if teens have parents as a secure base who continually influence the child in positive ways and are there for them. It just all comes down to the parents and how they raise their children. It's INSANE to me that some people in this world think that parents don't matter - that children just grow up the way they were born to. No, no, nooooo!! Parents make the biggest difference in the universe! If you don't believe me, just watch this (which is unfortunately only a preview and doesn't even begin to get into the horrors), and then read even one research article on parenting practices. Fortunately, not many people believe that parents don't matter, but if any one believes that, that's one too many.

Anyway, I really need to get back to my essays!! But I just had to say this. And I could expound so much more. But basically, if people cared more about the family and strengthening it, the problems in this world of crime, violence, substance use, immorality, sex trafficking, and general dishonesty would DIS. A. PPEAR. Parents matter. Families matter. The way you raise your children matters. How you raise your children is a huge part of determining who they will be. Yes, biology has a strong influence and so does agency, but never forget that your influence as a parent is just as strong, if not stronger. And of course, children who aren't raised well by their parents can still become transitional characters and make changes in their lives, but how parents parent will always make a difference.

The moral of the story is... every time I wonder if my major is legit, I'm reminded that the family really is the root of all the good or evil in this world, and I know that I'm doing something important that matters and will make a difference.

So GO BE AN AWESOME PARENT!! Just love 'em, for crying out loud! (But don't forget appropriate restrictions... or else you're just being permissive, which is the 3rd evil after uninvolved and authoritarian. ;))

The end.

About that........

The goal: Wake up early. Work on homework until midnight.

What happened: Slept in. Went to the women's soccer game. Touched homework for about an hour. Went to the last home football game.

I don't regret it at all. This entire semester I've had the mindset of, "Will I remember staying home and studying and doing super well on that test, or will I remember going down the Provo river on an air mattress that popped and hitchhiking our way to our car??" (True story. It was awesome.) So, like I said, I don't regret it. But Monday & Tuesday are going to be HEEEEEEEECK. Hahaha. :( 3-4 page outline for my research paper (with basically no clue of what I'm going to write, btw), 5-6 page paper for my health class, and a test on Monday that, well, I will start studying for on Monday. Ohhh boy... have I mentioned I can't WAIT to be done with school? I just really.. really can't wait. I can't wait to have time to be happy and dream again. I can't wait to have time to do crafts and care about my photography 534023479234 Xs more than I do right now. I can't wait to have hours at a time to focus on things I love again - basically crafting/decorating and photography. I miss you so. Really.. I miss caring about you. I'm just so uninspired when I'm annoyed with school work. I can't wait to be dooooonnnnnnnneeeeeeee. And rediscover the things I once loved so much more than I do now. It's just so frustrating not feeling inspired. Photography especially was so exciting in the beginning. And now I'm just like "I don't have time for fun personal photos." I was talking to someone tonight who I had just met, and I complimented her amazing makeup and she said she only had it on because her friend is a photographer and uses her as a model from time to time just for fun. And she talked about how cool that was to have a photographer as a friend. And one of my roommates was there too, and I quietly joked to her, "I'm such a terrible friend," because I nevverrrrrrr randomly want to take fun cute pictures of my roomies. And that's all I used to want to do with my friends. But I'm just so. un. in. spired. lately. And that extra "fun" personal work would feel like a chore and just more stuff I have to do. I hate it. I want the love back. Give it back to me. :(

I have full faith it will come back though. Because it was SO STRONG and natural. I really truly think that once I'm done always concentrating on school... that I can fully dedicate myself to my old artsy loves again. I miss them a lot. I miss them being the thing I was good at, and that I could make others happy through. I just want to sit in the middle of the living room, crafting up a ridiculously cute birthday present for someone that takes way too long to make while watching HGTV. Sigh. I just hope it comes back.

Okay. Time for bed. Like I said.. Monday will destroy me. I might as well be well-rested, haha. Goodnight my loves.