I hope I never lose hope.
I never had a problem being hopeful before. In fact I've always been a super optimistic and hopeful person - just always knew things would work out.
But lately fear has taken over me and I hope less and less. I'm scared about my future and what I'll do with it and who I'll spend it with. It's ridiculous and I keep reminding myself that I'm only 20. 20!! But lately all I ever do is worry. Thoughts of being alone or unsuccessful fill my mind constantly. It's becoming too much and I don't like it. It is uberliciously lame.
I definitely need to be studying my scriptures right now instead of being awake at 2:30 for no reason, that's what.
Sigh. Don't blog when you're emotional. ;) Or in the middle of the night for that matter. Every emotion you have is like quadrupled once the sun has gone down. (Why the flip is that so? Honestly. It's so annoying for people like me who feel something and then run with it! You end up making very silly decisions that you regret when the sun rises!) Silly nighttime.
Okay. Going to go to bed for a very short time until I wake up and regret this post. ;)
Gah, I should write a whole nother post on not regretting so much. Seriously Jennie, who cares?!
Okay. The mental lady is leaving the room now. Love, peace, and chicken grease.
2 comments:
Ahhh Jennie, your blog posts make me smile. :) And i do believe a line from my favorite Emily Dickinson poem applies nicely here.
"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all."
Don't stop hoping, my darling J-Rae. There's an amazing guy out there walking around waiting for the day he runs into YOU. :) And YOU??? Unsuccessful??? No way. You're gonna be just fine. Out of all the people I know, I worry about you the least because out of all those people, you're the one person who really knows who she is, and somewhere in there (even though you haven't even found it yourself yet) you know exactly what you're going to do with your life. You are amazing, and I love you. :)
ps, I agree with the above statement about every emotion being quadrupled in the night. SO true.
pps, the whole "love, peace, and chicken grease" thing cracked me up. And it reminded me of the podium in Coach Terrel's room that said "love, peace and afro grease" on it.
Love. Lots of it. :)
Myra
ahhhh myra. my sweet sweet myra. thanks. :) those words meant a lot to me! and love peace and afro grease just about knocked me out of my seat hahahahahahahaha oh gosh I never saw that before but I'm loving it!
love you too my dear. :) <3
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