Sunday, June 27, 2010

PROCRASTINATION.

Sigh. Sigh sigh SIGH. I procrastinate way too much. I need to blog! It would help me feel so much better to write out all my worries, but then I worry that I won't have enough time to write my worries... or that I don't yet have enough worries to write about.. or I figure I'll just do it tomorrow. Well, NO! I have no idea what this post will be about. But it will be about SOMETHING! I'm just going to write...! But not for long.. because I'm a bad girl and have loooots of homework to do. Heh heh.

Well... summer at BYU has been pretty sweet so far. First of all, leaving Alabama was kind of hard. My mother and I are emotional, yes. When my dad hugged me goodbye at home, I had to try hard to hold back the tears. He gets me whenever he calls me "babygirl" and then kisses me on the cheek. Oh buddy. Then my mom drove me to the airport and started tearing up as I was about to get in line for the security check. Of course I'm trying my hardest to maintain my composure until she pulls a fast one and says "You're just a part of me" through her tears!!! Mom!!!!!! Not nice. Thanks a lot. Tears started flowing at that point.

Then I get to my gate, where I'm waiting for about a half hour. Right in front of me is this family exactly like mine - a mom & dad, 3 boys, and a girl. The dad is in his army attire and they're all standing around him because he's about to leave for who knows how long. I was trying SO HARD not to cry... because one of the sons was just holding his dad's hand and you could tell everyone was standing as close as they could, trying to soak in all the memories of his presence. So here I am trying so hard not to cry as I imagine what it would be like if MY dad had to leave. He's in the Air Force but thank goodness doesn't have a job that requires him to go across seas. So I'm sitting there, getting my act together, and then I see a mom say goodbye to her probably 6 year old daughter who gets on the plane with an assistant lady. AGGGHHHH!! The mom hugged her so tight and then watched her little girl get on the plane and put her hand to her mouth and was crying. Holy. COW PEOPLE! Are you trying to kill me?? It was an emotional morning. But I got through it. Yes I did.

So now I'm at BYU again! I love it here. But it does feel very different being in a new apartment and being at school during the summer. I had 2 art classes, drawing and 2-dimensional design, but after 2 days of each... I dropped them. I couldn't handle it. Each were every day except Friday and each were 3 hours long. 3 HOURS... of drawing a chair. Followed by 3 HOURS... of drawing some tubes. It was the most boring experience of my life. I felt like I was wasting away, and that I could be changing the world or something but instead I was drawing the same chair for the 4th time. I know I probably sound like a baby but I just couldn't take it anymore... I dreaded going to class, and I didn't want to hate my summer at BYU. Yes, the classes were pre-requisites to apply to the visual arts program (I would apply to the photography emphasis), so without them I can't even apply. But I'm not totally crushed over it. So many photographers that I love didn't even study photography in college. Many are self-taught, and I love it enough that I know I'll continue to pursue it even if I don't study it formally. So... unless I one day buck up and suffer through the pre-requisite classes, I am now a __________ major! Yes, undecided. As always. :) I did add 2 communications classes (mass communication and society and intro to advertising) and I'm pretty sure I'm gunna love 'em! The teachers are both amazing (unlike the monotoned art teachers.. I'm sorry but really, it was hard to tell that they loved what they studied...) and I felt like through studying communications, I could really make a difference somewhere.. at sometime. I'm just big at making a difference and helping others. And drawing a chair made me feel more worthless than anything. But sorry, sorry, I will stop dissing the art classes. :) I'm sure they'll be better in the fall when they're less intense, and maybe with some different teachers. Or maybe for people who actually like to draw (I can't stand that that is a pre-requisite for photography. Grr.)

ANYWAY!! :)

As of now.. I am eating a very cheap bean and cheese burrito and preparing to do some homework. I feel bad about doing it on Sunday.. but my procrastination really caught up to me this time. The goal though is still no homework on Sundays! Day of rest, people! I will reach that goal. :) I did fairly well at it last year. Heck to the yes. It will happen again.

Well, it's nice to get that all off my chest. Oh, and have I mentioned my amazing new roommate Kari? She really is amazing. :) We were friends back in the day when I lived in Arizona (7th-9th grade) and I love her! She's so nice, talented, beautiful, and happy! Truly one of the nicest people you will ever meet. Love that girl. =] Check out her blog here! She's got some sweet music on her page too. :)

Alright... so yay for blogging! And boo for the homework I'm about to do. :( Love you all. If you're LDS, it might be cool (cool's probably not the right word...) to know that today is the anniversary of Joseph Smith's martyrdom. I'm so thankful for all the sacrifices he made in order to help the gospel grow. I do believe he was a prophet of God, and I just have no words for how amazing of a man he was! Here's a quote from his nephew Joseph F. Smith that I like:

"Oh, he was full of joy; he was full of gladness; he was full of love, and of every other noble attribute that makes men great and good, and at the same time simple and innocent, so that he could descend to the lowest condition...He was brimming over with the noblest and purest of human nature, which often gave vent in innocent amusements - in playing ball, in wrestling with his brothers and scuffling with them, and enjoying himself; he was not like a man with a stake run down his back, and with his face cast in a brazen mold that he could not smile, that he had no joy in his heart." <3

Okay, I can't talk about all of that and not share this link. Click here to watch one of my favorite videos EVER. Only 20 minutes long. It's about Joseph Smith and our belief that he restored Christ's gospel to the earth once more. It's a beautiful video and just makes me happy.

Okay for real now. Going to do homework! Until next time, when I shall write yet another lengthy venting post. Ahh. <3

P.S. Peanut butter and banana sandwhiches = YUM!

3 comments:

gigi said...

1. PB and banana sandwiches are THE best. Period.
2. I also dropped 2d-design and have decided not to apply to photography. I feel so happy about it, it's surprising.
3. Your airport experience sounds like it was way too heart-wrenching. I hate saying goodbye.
4. Every day in drawing, Melvin freaks out because you have his sketchbook. Haha

good luck on your homework!

Rosey said...

I agree - PB and banana sandwiches ROCK!
Hang in there - you'll figure out what you wanna do...i changed my major several times. I like your blogs :) Rosey

Jennie Smithson said...

oh my gosh margaret! hey! and you dropped it too?? wow, I am proud of us. lol. it is kind of weird how slightly relieving it us, huh? so are you still in drawing just for fun or what? and melvin finally got his sketchbook back hahaha :) he had my # so I was wondering why he never texted me to get it back but he said he entered it in his phone wrong or something. well anyway, he has it ;)

rosey! thanks for the encouragement =]]] oh and, are you rosemary? lol

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