goals.

1. Learn more about my camera and get better at using it.

2. Pick up my flute again.

3. Study my scriptures every night for at least 15 minutes, and gradually work my way up.

Yours?

At times I remember...

...that this guy is coming home in a little over a month...

(Lee's mission pres. for a while was Pres. Hinckley's son!)

...and I get just a wee bit excited. :)

scrumdiddlyumptious.

Just thought I'd share the love with you. I've always gotten the classic flavor, but I went for vanilla mint this time... SO yummy!

Love is in the aaaiirrr (er, well, on the braaaiinnn)

Sigh. I sigh a lot. I just watched "Return to Me" for the bajillionth time. It is so wonderful. WATCH IT! Yes I just got all caps lock crazy on you. That's how serious of a matter this is. It's amazing. And if there is something amazing in this world you can bet your bottom dollar (what does that even mean?) that I will inform you of it.

So.... I guess I just wanted to blog about love for a wee bit. Humor me! Yes, I'm only 19 (but to younger people that's way old! Gosh that used to seem so old....) but it would be nice to have some romance in my life. I've definitely had some before but for all I know I was psycho and making it up with my mutant teenage hormones. Anyway... it would just be nice to have someone. Maybe not even someone... just someTHING! If that makes sense. People are always telling me to calm down and wait it out and things will happen when the time is right and yes, yes, I know these things... but is it so much to want to flirt with someone right here, right now? Or just know that someone likes you and is thinking about you or wants to make you happy through the smallest things. Heck, let's face it...

I'M GUNNA BE 20 OR OLDER WHEN I GET MY FIRST KISS!!

Yes world, I just went there. You might as well know, I mean it's not like it's a big secret. Sigh. And it's cool, it really is. I mean I'm proud to say I've waited this long. And on days when I'm not "proud" of it, I still think it's kinda funny and cool. I could have had that first kiss so many other times (excuse how cocky that sounded... did not mean for that at all...just meant that many situations posed for it) but I want it to be special and great. And so... unless it happens before November 26th... I shall have lived 20 years of my life without kissing someone. Well, except Andrew in the 2nd grade. But we choose to blot out that memory. Yes.

Anyway... I was talking to my wonderful Kamala tonight and she was saying how she's going to focus on living her life right now and having fun and being her best self. And I think that's awesome! Because it's so true - this young adult life will soon be gone and I'll wish I had soaked up every minute of it instead of four fifths of it or whatever. But I still hope for something to happen.. and soonish. I'm not expecting a marriage proposal or anything, just... SOMETHING! I feel I've been so dang patient. I know, I know, I'm young and I have so much time. I know these things. I don't need to be reminded. I just wish I had someone to give me butterflies. Man it has been a long time since I've felt those. You know? Unless someone is giving you butterflies right now already, you can't disagree with me. Come on people, ya feel me here, I know it!

Well.. that is pretty much it. Call it venting... call it complaining... just speaking from the heart. I know, or at least I strongly hope, that I will fall in love one day and get married. I know I'm not ready for marriage right now. But I also wish I had a crush on someone and someone had a crush on me. Yes. That sounds so 3rd grade. But it would be nice. It's been so long. Ah.

Alright. Time for bed and hopefully not regretting this post in the morning. :) Silly nighttime... you toy with my emotions.

(I actually took this picture in my driveway in Alabama :) that is my dog Daisy's leg. <3)

Not too shabby...

...if I do say so myself!

Jennay got an A on her first summer midterm (intro to advertising). Woo to the hoo!! :) Studying really pays off. Go figure. :)

Hmm. Well, while I'm here I might as well write some more, huh?

Life's been good lately. Very chill. Still trying to decide what to do with my life. But what day goes by where that's not on my mind? :)

Last night I was studying and started thinking about what it is that's missing. And I realized it (or at least part of it) was music. Band. My flute! And playing it with others. I miss being in a band so much it's inconceivable (Oh, it might be time to pull out The Princess Bride again). I'm going to sign up for band this year before it fills up if it kills me!! I'm also considering trying out for marching band next year (it's too late to try out for this year.) I just miss band. I miss being a part of a group. Of course I'll always have my group of friends... but I miss being part of a performing group. There's just a rush you get when you're playing in a big ensemble and the music is so moving that the hair on the back of your neck stands up and you can't believe you helped make such a beautiful sound. Goodness, I love and miss band. I need it back in my life. How stupid of me to be so devoted to it since 6th grade and forget about it once I got to college. That WILL change. I can't live without it!

Well. :) Had no idea I'd be getting on THAT tangent today! But it's good. I needed to come to that realization.

So what about you? What things are you missing in your life?

I will regret this whiney post in 12 hours.

So, summer semester is beautiful, and easy, and chill, and great... but I must admit... it's kinda lonely. I feel so happy to be back at BYU, but I've been spending so many hours alone in my apartment because I haven't found my "group" yet. In Alabama I've been awesomely spoiled with SOO many amazing friends who relate to me so so well - benefits of a small town - and here it takes longer to find those people you just click with. I don't know, I guess I just wish that right now I was hanging out with friends who were making me laugh and who I felt completely comfortable with. But summer term is so short and kind of isolated so it's harder to find those people in such a short time. I'm not saying I'm not surrounded by awesome and super great people, because I am! Thank goodness for church to get me to meet some people who live near me. I just wish I had more in common with them, or something. I just... I don't know what I'm saying. I need to branch out and make more of an effort to get to know people. It's so much easier to get to know people when you live on a floor with 40 girls than in an apartment with only 1 other girl. I just miss my guy friends who would be making up songs on their guitars right now and acting like idiots. And I miss my little band children who attack me with hugs! But I hate to sound like I'm complaining.. because I truly have SO. MUCH. to be grateful for here. And I was so ready to come out here and start school. I just can't wait until fall/winter semesters, when I can actually spend 36 weeks with the same people instead of just 8. Ya know? And when I can find MY people. my group. The friends I'll be dying to hang out with all the time even if we do nothing. :) Who knows what I'm saying... ah! Just needed to vent. While I sit here in my room alone on the night that Provo celebrated the 4th of July. (See - I should be out partying. Haha. At least the fireworks were cool. Shut up Jennie! Get off your butt and go do something!!!!)

Okay. Enough with the drama. LOVE YOU ALL! And I love my life. I really do. I just hate being alone. It's not good for me. Like, seriously, my thought process goes out of whack when I'm alone for too long. Which is why I'm going to walk across the street and hang out with Kari and her friends right NOW! Yes. Suckin' it up Jennie. Suckin' it up. Hope you all had a great 4th. :) (Well, 3rd. ;))