Saturday, July 3, 2010

I will regret this whiney post in 12 hours.


So, summer semester is beautiful, and easy, and chill, and great... but I must admit... it's kinda lonely. I feel so happy to be back at BYU, but I've been spending so many hours alone in my apartment because I haven't found my "group" yet. In Alabama I've been awesomely spoiled with SOO many amazing friends who relate to me so so well - benefits of a small town - and here it takes longer to find those people you just click with. I don't know, I guess I just wish that right now I was hanging out with friends who were making me laugh and who I felt completely comfortable with. But summer term is so short and kind of isolated so it's harder to find those people in such a short time. I'm not saying I'm not surrounded by awesome and super great people, because I am! Thank goodness for church to get me to meet some people who live near me. I just wish I had more in common with them, or something. I just... I don't know what I'm saying. I need to branch out and make more of an effort to get to know people. It's so much easier to get to know people when you live on a floor with 40 girls than in an apartment with only 1 other girl. I just miss my guy friends who would be making up songs on their guitars right now and acting like idiots. And I miss my little band children who attack me with hugs! But I hate to sound like I'm complaining.. because I truly have SO. MUCH. to be grateful for here. And I was so ready to come out here and start school. I just can't wait until fall/winter semesters, when I can actually spend 36 weeks with the same people instead of just 8. Ya know? And when I can find MY people. my group. The friends I'll be dying to hang out with all the time even if we do nothing. :) Who knows what I'm saying... ah! Just needed to vent. While I sit here in my room alone on the night that Provo celebrated the 4th of July. (See - I should be out partying. Haha. At least the fireworks were cool. Shut up Jennie! Get off your butt and go do something!!!!)

Okay. Enough with the drama. LOVE YOU ALL! And I love my life. I really do. I just hate being alone. It's not good for me. Like, seriously, my thought process goes out of whack when I'm alone for too long. Which is why I'm going to walk across the street and hang out with Kari and her friends right NOW! Yes. Suckin' it up Jennie. Suckin' it up. Hope you all had a great 4th. :) (Well, 3rd. ;))

2 comments:

Myra Ann said...

Oh, JRae. We miss you too :( Terribly. Me and Justin were just talking about how we had wanted to do all these things with you before you left us again and how we hadn't gotten around to it. It's awful without you. And every year it gets worse, I hate that all my favorite people keep leaving me :( :( And it sucks because I dont know if we're ever going to be permanently close to each other ever again. Everyone is scattering around like the little white fluffy seeds of those flowers you blow on to make wishes.
I'm with you in spirit even if I'm not there in person, and I love you.

Jennie Smithson said...

awww =[ thanks myraa. I miss you! ahhh. it's so hard loving so many different places haha, I just wish I could combine them. but one thing I'm sure of.. is that you and I will ALWAYS be close! there's just no way that could ever change. kapeesh?!?! when we are married and have kids we'll record their funny weird kiddish moments and share them with each other :D and just so many other great things. it'll be awesome! <3 oh, and we'll still go to the movies with Mr. V. :)

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