so I have a normal journal, and then a "spiritual" journal which I bring to church and devotionals and things. I wrote this in my spiritual journal last night, and I feel the need to type it up here. maybe it'll mean something to someone else too!
"So . . woah. I was basically spiritually body-slammed today. For some reason the topic of trusting in God came across my mind today, and then the entire universe seemed to be saying 'Yeah Jennie, yeah!!'
"So I don't know . . I just started thinking that if I started trusting in God better this month, it would be a heck of a lot easier to get through it (it's a busy month). But really, if I went to bed earlier, woke up earlier, watched TV/Facebooked less, and worked harder on studying and my photography, then my life would just be so much better! & I relate this to trusting in God because He has told us to go to bed early and rise early, and if we do all that we can and work super hard, He will reward us and gladly make up for the rest. But I need to BELIEVE that! I need to actually have faith that if I follow His counsel of working hard, that He will bless me for it. I always kind of back down from hard work because I wonder if it will reallly pay off. But see . . it WILL! & if I don't believe that, then I'm simply not trusting in God. Hands down. So I'm going to be better. I'm going to work harder. I'm going to stop being so lazy (although a lazy day everyone now & then is absolutely good for the soul! But I'm lazy like . . every day . . ) I'm going to prove that I'm worthy enough to attend BYU. I'm going to be as conscious as I was in high school.
"Seriously . . I feel like I need to do this so badly. The topic just came up so many times today. Someone (probably more than 1 person) mentioned trusting God in their testimony today. Then in Sunday school we listened to part of a talk by Elder Wirthlin & the 4th of 4 points he made was to trust in Heavenly Father & His Son Jesus Christ. Then in relief society the opening hymn was "Be Thou Humble." Um . . can you say most relevant lines ever?! "Be thou humble in thy weakness (laziness) and the Lord thy God shall lead thee . . " Think I'm done? Of course not! At ward prayer tonight, Amy gave the spiritual thought and talked all about trusting in God. She read a scripture from Mosiah but I can't remember what it was. Anyway, dude, talk about a spiritual body-slam, right? Now, I could very well brush all of these things off as mere coincidence, but then I wouldn't be trusting in God, right . . right?? Also, we all know I hardly believe in coincidences, but rather small evidences that God exists.
"Well anyway . . I just really needed to write that all out before I forgot about it.
"Time for bed so I can wake up early and get to work! :) I'm excited to be better.
"And . . . I <3 Sundays. So much.
<3 always,
Jennie Rae"
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