I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

why is it...

...that I can't be myself when I'm at home? I missed provo the second I got back because I missed myself. everytime I come home I act different. like I'm 15. like I have to act the age I was when I lived here. it's such a weird complex thing. a stupid and annoying weird complex thing. why can't I just be the jennie I know and love?

humph.

well...at least I'm excited to go back. which is better than dreading it, right?

For Joseph AKA MooKooJoe

Dear Journal,

January 18, 1998

Today I went to church because it's Sunday. And every Sunday our family goes to church. When we got home my mom said that we could play videogames at 3:00 and the boy's kept on playing videogames sence 3:00. My dad is asleep in my brother's room. I was just telling my mom what the babysitter's wrote about us when my mom and dad were gone Saturday night. And the stuff that they wrote were realy silly.

Were watching a movie, about the old days. It's about a little dark skin girl who went to a light skin school. And that's how they made light skin and dark skin people go to the same school.

(I catch on quick.)

When the movie was over all of the kid's played with laundry basket's.

(My parents bought us toys, I swear...)

February 6, 1998

I am spending the night at kelsi's house. We are watching a video thats called Double, Double toil in trouble. I had to go to sleep at twelve O clock because I couldn't go to sleep with the video on. At Kelsis house I slep on the floor and at Kelsis house I went to sleep at twelve oclock and at twelve oclock Kelsis mom turned off the video so I could go to sleep.

(Just wanted to make that clear in case you didn't get it the first 3 times.)

February 7, 1998

Me and Kelsi are playing with our babys and watching cartoons at the same time. We're going to teach our babys to ride a bike. So when their older the'll know how to ride a bike.

(Because the things we taught them today won't kick in for 5 years. Duh.)

February 8, 1998

I am at church we are listening to a lesson that the Bishop is talking about. I'm not shure what he is talking about cause I wasnt listening. But now their singing a song and its on page 158, its almost time to go to primary but I'm goona still write untill its time to go to primary. I'm not singing the song because I cant write and sing at the same time so I'm not goona sing I'm goona write in this Journal.

(Good to see I have my priorities straight.)

March 7, 1998

Last night we were goona buy Diddy Kong Racing but instead we bought Mario Kart 64. It's a real fun game it's so fun I even like it better than Diddy Kong Racing!!! Lee and Neal are playing two player on Mario Kart 64, Lee keeps on saying: wait for me brother! And Neal keeps on crashing caus theres a bunch of cars and trucks that Neal and Lee keep on crashing into.

(This is my childhood in a paragraph.)

May 9, 1998

Yesterday Noah slep over, hes maybe going home in the afternoon, that's what Lee said. Last night I fell asleep, and last night their was a thunderstorm, I was scard but then my mom and dad looked on the news and the storm was going under us then I wasnt scard but then my mom said theres going to be an hour of the storm left, then I was scard again.

I was extra scared.

(I even wrote that last line all smaller and scraggly. Awesome.)

in case you were wondering..

..my husband will be treated like GOLD.

I hope this post doesn't sound whiny. I'm soo not intending for that.

yesterday as I was walking home from class, I was wondering once again if I'd ever get married. I know, I'm only 20. but I honestly just fear that I will never find that person for me. like, I'm seriously bracing myself for it. I just think that finding that special person is the luckiest thing that could ever happen to anyone.

as I was walking, I pictured myself holding hands with a boy. a boy that I really liked and who really liked me. and holding hands would feel comfortable, and not awkward. I had so much love for this imaginary boy, it was kinda weird.. I realize it is still weird. haha! but all I could think about was how much I wanted to hug this boy and tell him he's cute and make him cookies and laugh at his jokes and make him realize how great he is. and then he would hug me and smile at me and that's all I would need in return.

let's hope I'm a lucky lady.

finals week is at the door.

and this cute little picture will get me through it!

"that's all folks!"

(tell me that statement didn't make you ridonkulously nostalgic! I can barely remember why it's making me nostalgic... some cartoon.. I'm almost positive... ah... help me if you know!)

umm...

I ate this entire thing yesterday.

yup.

24 ounces and 600 calories later... I'm still totally okay that I did it. haha! okay... well maybe I'm a little regretful. but only because that means I don't have any to eat right now...

cottage cheese forever! <3

right now...

...I really just want to hibernate. or watch a movie.

I don't know why I'm blogging about this.

I think I'm going to go take a nap before my night class...

yes, that sounds like a swell idea.

then I shall come home and get to work, and work all day tomorrow, and keep working saturday! (work = edit pictures and do homework.. for the record :))

good plan.

happy thursday!

Dear Proactiv,

I regret to inform you that you have been fired. From my face. Yes.

You see, I started using you in August. Today is December 1st. Since August I have been experiencing the worst acne of my life. Acne worse than the acne I had back in 9th grade. Acne worse than the acne I had BEFORE I started using you. I know, sometimes it takes a couple of months for the medicine to really start working. But with three solid months down, I think it's safe to say we were just not meant for each other.

I'm sorry. I really wish things could have worked out. But the time and money I've been putting into you simply isn't worth it anymore. Makeup is getting more and more expensive, and my self-esteem is slowly digging its way deeper into the earth.

Please don't take this personally. I'm trying not to.

I wish you the best in your endeavors to beautify the faces of acne-stricken adolescents everywhere.

Yours truly,
Jennie

psshh...

....no I am not posting about halloween the day before december 1st... cuz... that would just be ridiculous...

:)

my name is Jennie. and I am procrastinator extraordinaire.

 I adore the creepiness that is this picture.

naomi. :) roommate.

ashley - roomate.

 it's true. she does.

 no, our pumpkin does not smoke. but he does enjoy a good lollipop from time to time!

someone threw justyna a sucker from across the room and it landed right on her chest. huh-larious!

this is stephen. aka shtep-ahn. he is entertaining. he gladly put the mustache on when I asked him to. :)

 FHE mom & dad with their pride and joy!

ryan!

 oh hi adorable amy and ashley!

caramel apple suckers = cherished memory of halloween

TYPICAL. (....jk :))

naomi & shtep-ahns monkey pumpkin.. I think..

 playing family feud online. awesome.

I basically have the best family home evening group ever.



happy halloween! (yes, on nov. 30th!)

giveaway!

hey guys :)

my amazingly talented and beautiful cousin nicole is doing a giveaway over on her blog, me oh my!

check it out! and follow her blog while you're at it. it's uhmazeing. :)

daddy's girl.

I love my dad so much.

I didn't realize until I came out to college how much of a daddy's girl I was.

we're not like touchy-huggy-anything in my family, so it's not like that. but it's just knowing that he cares so much about me because I'm the only girl and he always genuinely cares about how I'm doing. he knows exactly when to give me space, and when to ask how I'm doing. he's become a master at putting up with my mood swings, let me tell ya!

his nickname for me has always been "boody-doo." :)

my dad is such a good person. he's so chill and mature. but he's also really dorky (oh, his jokes. enough said. :)) he is SUCH. a hard worker. he is the best handyman I know. seriously. he built our fence. he landscaped our backyard. he fixes all of our cars by himself. he fell through the ceiling (haha) and patched it right back up. he fixed a dent in our van. he kills bugs for me (no, he's too nice for that, he takes them outside for me!). he makes the best homemade pizza ever. he can cook anything. he's a computer genious. he's a gadget-tech-anything genious for that matter. he's just. THE. BEST!

this past summer I had the awesome opportunity of nannying for a family that goes to my church back home in alabama. with the money I made from nannying, I was able to save up for a DSLR. one day while I was nannying, and before I had even purchased the camera, my dad dropped by on his way home from work to see how I was doing. he then handed me a bag, and in it were 2 digital photography books he had just bought for me.

a couple of months later, after I had bought my camera and while I was doing summer term at BYU, I got a random package in the mail. it was from my dad, and he had sent me another photography book - this one specific to my camera.

today, I got another random package in the mail. 2 photography books specifically about wedding photography, because I'm shooting my first wedding in december.

this might sound so whatever to some, or not even special because it involves material things, but to me it means so much! my dad is so thoughtful and he supports me so much. knowing that he's investing in these books for me shows me that he has faith in me and supports my love for photography. but it's so much bigger than that, of course. he just wants the best for me and cares about my ... cares! we're very laid back in my family when it comes to expressing our love, but these small acts just prove to me that my dad loves me so much.

he's the best dad ever. I love him and miss him so much!

(these are literally the only pictures I could find of us together on my computer... so they'll just have to do. I feel like we're looking at the history of my hair - yeesh! :))

(my dad looks like dennis quaid, no?)


the day I bought my DSLR :)


at one of my concert band clinics


senior prom


on rattlesnake rapids, a ride at lagoon :)

thank you for everything daddy, I love you!

I'm obsessed.

with these earrings!



leaves AND bling?!?! could life get any better?? they're from forever 21. they were like... $4. I want to buy every single pair of earrings they have!!! so cheap and so cute. AHHH.

so this one time...

...at our apartment...
sadie & sarah got a wee bit hyper.and decided to dress up.and make a music video to britney spears.pretty normal, don't you think?I, of course, whipped out my camera to document the momentous occasion.(I hate the word occasion. it got me out of the spelling bee in 8th grade {at a k-8 school...} I so would have won otherwise!)







In the other room even more frivolity was ensuing! I hope that made sense..



oh hi cute roommate. :)



does sarah not look exactly like baby spice in that picture??


ghetto sarah!


sadie could not be any cuter.



I got these shoes at DI for $5! holla!




I heart my roommates. :)oh.and this poster!
yay for being 1 less blog post behind!