a case of the cries.

a few weeks ago my nephew ethan was sitting on his grandpa's lap when his mom and lee were out of town and he said, "I just have the cries and don't know why, and I can't stop!"

I feel like that tonight. :(

stupid womanhood.

friday was my brother's temple sealing and yesterday was his ring ceremony and reception.

it was so great and really fun and we danced from 7 to midnight!

I literally danced the entire time haha. my calves are KILLING me today. I love it.

we didn't finish cleaning up after the wedding until 2:30, so bed around 3.

I slept in this morning and missed the first 2 hours of church.

(my mom and grandpa were the only 2 people out of 9 people who should have gone.. haha.)

well I HATE missing church.
I need it, especially when it's a week of transition like this one.

so I got ready super fast and made it to the last hour (relief society).

it was worth it. 

just being in that atmosphere, and I got to say bye to my ward family which was nice.

my mom went straight to bed when she got home and is still asleep.... that's a 5+ hour nap people haha.

anyway, I came home and napped too. and like normal I felt weird when I woke up (I HATE post-nap feeling), but it hasn't left yet. boo. :(

I started watching chronicles of narnia with my nephews and it was even making me sad because it was getting to the part where aslan is sacrificed.

makes me sad, even though it's a good thing because it represents Christ's sacrifice, and aslan comes back to life like 2 seconds later and it's all happy.

anyway it was making me sad.

so I came upstairs and hoped the background noise of the hallmark movie my grandpa is watching would cheer me up.

I go back to provo on tuesday and I'm afraid it'll be bummy.

the start of a new year does excite me, but I just hate winter haha. I want it to be over already.

and it's just a time of transition all over in my family.

my dad is job hunting literally everywhere, so I have no idea where I'll spend christmas next year.

it makes me sad that my fiance will probably never know my alabama home. :(

and just random sadness.

this year I want to work on not caring so much about what people think.

taking more chances.

having more fun.

not saying sorry so often,

but saying sorry more.

being mySELF.

putting EFFORT into making others happy. I used to be better at that than I am now.

remembering good stuff requires work.

relying more on Heavenly Father and putting forth more effort into that relationship.

opening up.

being vulnerable.

not losing hope. <3

anyway, this mood is extremely familiar to me. the weird uncomfortable random I-want-to-sob mood that will (normally) be gone in the morning.

and that normally causes me to ramble on my blog. ;)

ahh. maybe I will take a shower now. cry the random sadness out and feel better.

hope you're having a lovely sabbath. <3 

happy 2012. :)